Mediation
"I have used Rahula for contract negotiation between four people. I was very impressed at how Rahula remained neutral in an emotionally loaded negotiation (surrogate pregnancy), and with her sensitivity/delicacy in helping the group move forward. Also, Rahula has a solid understanding of how race/class/gender affect interpersonal and group dynamics." --M.S.
Background and Training
The first dispute I ever mediated was between two housemates with communication problems. I had previously facilitated some meetings for their collective house, and they asked if I would mediate for them. I agreed, and then promptly called my mother, a trained community mediator herself. She was happy to give me tips, and between her tips and my experience as a facilitator, the mediation restored communication between the housemates. I knew I'd found my calling, but I also knew that I needed training.
Fortunately for me, the country's oldest, longest-running public mediation service in the United States, Community Boards , is located in San Francisco and offers intensive mediator training several times a year.
In 2008, I went through their Basics of Mediation course, and have been mediating ever since. I regularly attend Mediation Clinics with expert mediators offered by Community Boards, and in 2011, I attended the "Advanced Mediation Training: Moving Beyond The Basics."
Fortunately for me, the country's oldest, longest-running public mediation service in the United States, Community Boards , is located in San Francisco and offers intensive mediator training several times a year.
In 2008, I went through their Basics of Mediation course, and have been mediating ever since. I regularly attend Mediation Clinics with expert mediators offered by Community Boards, and in 2011, I attended the "Advanced Mediation Training: Moving Beyond The Basics."
When is Mediation Useful?
Anytime two or more people are in a conflict or dispute that they have been unable to resolve themselves, mediation is a good tool for moving forward. The presence of a trained third party can dramatically and positively shift conflicts, even conflicts or disputes that have been ongoing.
Mediation can repair or rebuild relationships, and it can also sort out the final details so that the disputants can part ways. In group disputes, mediation is often useful to sort out the interpersonal dynamics that are a part of the group dynamics and develop concrete next steps.
Mediation can repair or rebuild relationships, and it can also sort out the final details so that the disputants can part ways. In group disputes, mediation is often useful to sort out the interpersonal dynamics that are a part of the group dynamics and develop concrete next steps.
Experience
I have mediated many different disputes, and am comfortable mediating any dispute, so long as all disputants are participating by choice.
Some examples of disputes I have Mediated:
- friends who briefly became lovers and wanted to work through the awkwardness and back to an uncomplicated friendship
- Business partners with such a long history of conflict that they were no longer able to speak to each other and needed help figuring out how to part ways
- neighbors with a noise dispute
-romantic partners working through challenging relationship dynamics
- a group of 8 people transitioning from being led by the group's founder to being a collective with shared decision making
- former romantic partners who worked in the same organization and needed clearer boundaries and understandings about how to continue that work now that they were no longer partners
-a collective that had decided to end, but needed help with the details
-two housemates who were no longer on speaking terms but both wanted to stay in the house
Some examples of disputes I have Mediated:
- friends who briefly became lovers and wanted to work through the awkwardness and back to an uncomplicated friendship
- Business partners with such a long history of conflict that they were no longer able to speak to each other and needed help figuring out how to part ways
- neighbors with a noise dispute
-romantic partners working through challenging relationship dynamics
- a group of 8 people transitioning from being led by the group's founder to being a collective with shared decision making
- former romantic partners who worked in the same organization and needed clearer boundaries and understandings about how to continue that work now that they were no longer partners
-a collective that had decided to end, but needed help with the details
-two housemates who were no longer on speaking terms but both wanted to stay in the house
My Philosophy of Mediation
Conflict is a healthy and inevitable part of human existence. However, very few people are raised with effective conflict resolution skills, and as a result, many of us do our best to avoid conflict, and when we cannot avoid it, attempt to squash the conflict with verbal, emotional, or physical force.
Conflict always holds the potential to be a positive force for change, and in my practice I have seen seemingly unresolvable conflicts be resolved in ways that are transformative for the disputants.
Mediation is an alternative to resorting to the police and the courts to resolve our differences, and is part of a path toward a more collaborative, just, and peaceful world.
Conflict always holds the potential to be a positive force for change, and in my practice I have seen seemingly unresolvable conflicts be resolved in ways that are transformative for the disputants.
Mediation is an alternative to resorting to the police and the courts to resolve our differences, and is part of a path toward a more collaborative, just, and peaceful world.